


hello reaper, have we met?

by lokingud



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Superfamily (Marvel), Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokingud/pseuds/lokingud
Summary: Everywhere Peter went, death followed. It took and took and took. It had taken his loved ones, one right after the other, until he had been left alone. But Peter won't let it take from him anymore. And if that means putting himself in danger to protect his Dad, that is okay. And if it means facing his fear of dying alone, that is okay too.[WARNING: violence, referenced death, slight mention of PTSD, please be safe everyone!](inspired by 'with me by your side' by Parkrstark)
Relationships: Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	hello reaper, have we met?

**Author's Note:**

> I am not quite sure what this is, but I was craving some Peter Angst xD  
> enjoy!

Peter knew it was too late. It was too god damn late. He had missed the opportunity. Just for a second, he had _considered_ and missed his chance. Now he would pay the price. This would be the day that he died. At the age of 17. Trapped on a sinking ship. Alone. God, he was alone.  
“Papa.”, he sobbed. No, he couldn’t be weak right now. It was his own fault he was trapped here.  
Wet.  
Wet.  
Wet.  
Peter closed his eyes, imagining the rain. Yes, it was raining. That’s why his suit was wet, that’s why there was water surrounding him and that’s why his face was wet. It was not the blood dripping from his wounds, neither was it because hot tears were streaming down his face. It was the rain. He loved the rain. It always calmed him down and made him relax.  
“Dad.”, another sob fought its way outside.  
He would die. He would die alone.  
  
The thought of leaving this world terrified him. It always had. Death had been prominent in Peters's life since he was two years old and hadn’t left since, taking loved ones from him. And taking and taking. Even if he tried really hard, he couldn’t believe in a God, because God wouldn’t have taken away both his parents, his uncle, and his aunt. There was no heaven waiting, he would just close his eyes, his body would become cold, his bladder would empty itself and his corpse would start smelling terrible. But that didn’t really matter, because Peter would never see or smell anything ever again and his body would sink to the ground of the ocean, so no one else would have to smell it either.  
“Peter, would you like me to contact Mr. Stark?”, he heard Karen’s soft voice. No! No, his dad couldn’t see him like this. Even if his thoughts just centered around the fear of dying alone, he couldn’t bear talking to him right now. It would break his heart to hear Tony. Even if it was just on a screen. He’d rather die alone than for his parents to see him like this.  
“Contacting Mr. Stark.”  
Peter wanted to yell. Wanted to shake his head, but it was too much. Moving was too much and so was talking. The chains around his body were rattling when he tried to get them off him again. He regretted his movement the following second when another sharp pain ripped through his body. It was hopeless. They only strangled him more. Nothing he could do. Just watch as the water rose.  
“N-no, stop the call.”, he whimpered, gritting his teeth. “C-c-call P-Pops. But no re-report about my condition. To no one.”  
Not that it made a huge difference whether he scared the crap out of Steve or Tony, but when Peter had bad news he always talked to his Papa. Simply because his Papa always knew what to do. Papa was calm and collected, while his Dad was often all over the place and Peter needed someone right now who didn’t freak out as he did.  
The ringing sound was almost too much for Peters's hypersensitive ears.  
“Hello? Peter? You okay?”  
Steve always answered the phone by asking if he was okay. He always did, it was nothing out of the ordinary, but this time Peter wouldn’t be able to answer with a light-hearted ‘Sure Pops!’  
“I lost them.”, he choked on the few words, barely able to talk anymore.  
“Lost who?”, Steve sounded alarmed right away, but he stayed calm. Peter was so thankful he did. His Pops was calm and collected. Exactly what he needed right now.  
“Spidey senses. Must have lost ‘em.”, another sob escaped him, even though he tried his best to hold it back. To chin up. He needed to be strong. He was a superhero after all, right? He had helped the captives on this boat. He did well. Except for this one moment of weakness. This one small moment that would cost him his life.  
“Peter, where are you? Are you still out with your friends? And why are you crying so much sweetheart?”  
He could hear his Dad in the background. And AC/DC. A small smile appeared on his face and for just a second, he didn’t think about the cracking of the sinking ship, the pain in every cell of his body, or the face that he would soon be dead. He laughed, even though it hurt him to do so, it was just too ridiculous. Dad and Papa were at home, in the lab, playing air guitar along with AC/DC, while he got choked to death from the chains around his neck and abdomen. They were debating about who played which part and Peter was debating what would kill him first. The chains or the water. Wasn’t that hilarious?!? But his laugh died out into another sob when the music stopped and his Dad asked Jarvis for his location.  
“you are WHERE?”, he heard his Dad.  
On a ship, Peter thought. Chained to a mast, to be specific. Hilarious, right Dad?  
“Hang on bud, we’ll be there soon to whoop your ass.”  
So Jarvis didn’t tell them what was going on with him. Ah right, he forbid Karen to do so.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
“I thought he was neighborhood Spiderman and not **overseas Spiderman**!”, Tony yelled while putting on his suit.  
“I swear he told me he’d just go out with his friends. He wasn’t even on patrol today…”, Steve defended himself.  
It was silent for a moment. Unbearably silent. “I think he is hurt, Tony. He cried.”, he added.  
“Let’s go then.”  
The shield on his face closed and Tony grabbed his husband, flying off in the direction of the big tanker ship.  
He was worried sick about his kid. Of course he was, but why was Peter even on that boat? On the way he decided to call Fury.  
“Don’t you dare tell me you sent Peter off on a mission.”, he hissed. His grip around Steve got tighter with his upbuilding anger.  
“What? No of course not.”, Fury answered. “I sent you.”  
That’s when Tony realized. Peter had taken his phone when he left the house this afternoon. Another call came in.  
“Hang on Fury. Hello?”  
Maybe it was Peter. Peter, Peter, Peter, all of his thoughts circled around the boy. His little boy was hurt. His baby.  
“Stark. Good to hear your voice. Do you remember me? Heard you are on your way to save him. Funny thing.”, the voice laughed. But it didn’t sound amused at all. “I got your boy here and I am thinking about changing his name. What do you think about ‘Aquaman’?”  
Another laugh followed, and the connection died. Fuck. Of course Tony remembered Whiplash. How could he forget the guy who nearly killed him and his best friend? And now Peter was in the same danger. Shit, shit, SHIT!  
“Fury, I’ll call you later.”  
  
“Who was that? What’s going on honey?”, Steve asked, looking up to his significant other.  
“Peter might die.”  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
*2 hours ago*  
  
“Oh shit, shit, shit.”, Peter hid behind one of the walls of the hold inside the tanker. “Okay Spiderman keep it together. The world needs you.”  
The world probably needed someone else, a real superhero with experience and some sort of weapon that wasn’t made of silk. But here he was, while Killian delivered a speech to his captives about killing Iron Man.  
“Karen, what’s the fastest way to the lifeboats?”, he whispered, barely able to hear his own voice over his strong heartbeat. It was painful to swallow, painful to breathe and nearly impossible to get his thoughts straight. There he was, the guy who nearly cut Tony Stark in half on The Grand Monaco Racing Track not too many years ago.  
‘Okay Spiderman. You can do that. No need to put Dad through this emotional trauma again, you can do it on your own. You can safe _him_ for once.’  
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be dead?”, he asked, voice controlled, and fear faded away. ‘You can’t be weak right now Spiderman. You are not a child anymore. You can’t be.’, he thought and approached the Russian.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
The second Peter saw his Dad and Papa, his walls collapsed. He let out a heart-wrenching sob and squinched his eyes shut. He really hadn't had wanted to die alone.  
“Oh god, Peter.”, his Dad whispered and fell on his knees next to him. The water had already reached them and nearly covered his legs.  
“I am sorry.”, he whimpered, opened his tear-filled eyes and looked at his parents. This wasn’t right. No, they shouldn’t be here. “I’m sorry I answered Fury’s call. I’m sorry I went on a mission without calling you guys. I’m sorry that I am so weak and called you. Sorry, Dad. I know you were busy.”, he sobbed harder. “I am so so sorry that I am putting you through this. That you must see me like this. Pathetic.”, Peter wanted to ramble on, but he felt like he was suffocating. God, these chains were getting tighter and tighter with every second, every word, every breath.  
“Shh, it’s okay Baby. We’ll make sure it’s okay. Just take a deep breath sweetheart, can you do that for me? Dad will cut these chains in no time.”, Steve cooed and stroked Peters's hair. Papa was calm and collected. He always knew what to do.  
Peter shook his head vigorously, terrified to the tips of his fingers.  
“No! I’ll choke!”, fresh tears welled up in his eyes. “Please, just leave. Please.”, the next sob that escaped him sounded almost inhuman, full of raw emotions, full of pain and terror.  
“Peter…”, Tony, who had had a hard time processing what the kid had gotten himself into, slowly lifted his hand and cupped the Spiderlings face. “We won’t leave you here. I’ll get you out of these chains, I promise.”  
  
Tony knew that he could. He could save his little boy. Adopting this little bundle of joy had been the best decision in his life, the first step in the god-damn right direction everyone he knew was always talking about and he would never forgive himself for not trying everything to save his little ray of sunshine. And so would Steve. Steve loved Peter dearly.  
  
“You can’t.”, Peter winced. “When you move them, they-“  
He was cut off by another wave of hot pain in his abdomen, in his chest, everywhere. God, it hurt everywhere! A scream fought its way out of his throat, his body seized and the chains got impossibly tighter, cutting off every last bit of oxygen.  
“-electrocute me.”, he gasped, struggling to take another breath.  
“My dear, breathe.”, Steve mumbled. “Tony, we need to get these off!”  
Oh god, Papa panicked. Papa was not in control anymore. He was going to die. He was going to die in front of his parents, his family. For once, he’d be the one leaving his loved one’s behind, but being in this position was worse. Peter would rather have everyone leave him behind, leave him suffering, than for his family to endure this pain. This pain of being the one being alive, while dying inside.  
Dad’s eyes were wandering around frantically. Looking for a solution. Dad always found a solution.  
“C-c-can’t.”, he coughed, unable to inhale, but at the same time unable to just pass out.  
“Yes you can, baby. It will be better soon.”, Dad tried to calm him down while working on the mast with his repulsors. Papa raised his shield over Peter’s head and protected him from any further pain.  
  
_“Nothing’s gonna harm you, not while your Dad and I are around.”, Steve kissed his forehead lightly and removed the tears from 6-year old Peters chubby cheeks, who had had a particularly bad day at school.  
  
“Petey, I love you dearly my little ray of sunshine.”, Dad cooed and hugged Peter even closer. “And nothing will ever change that. Ever. Pinkie promise.”  
Dad intertwined their fingers.  
  
_He was just a kid. Just a small, frightened child. Still scared of making phone calls, still too anxious to sleep in his own bed with a thunderstorm over New York, and god knows mortally terrified of death.  
But he could feel his body going slack, his heart beat fading, his eyes closing.  
“PETER!”  
  
He just wanted to save his dad. Didn’t want him to suffer from meeting this bad guy again. He knew about his Dad’s nightmares, he knew how terrified he could get. And god knows he would save his Dad, because his Dad had saved him so many times. Because Peter would save what was left of his family. He was too strong to let life take someone else from him.  
His Papa always said with his powers came big responsibilities. A burden he had to carry. Sacrifices he had to make. Peter hadn’t quite understood that back then, but he understood that he wanted to help people. That he wanted to make sure no one had to say goodbye.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Tony hated to see that look on his partners face. Utter disbelief. Soldiers are not machines, they think, they feel, they get scared.  
“PETER! Peter! Sweetheart, please. Open your eyes. Please. Please. Please. You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay, bear. I promise.”  
Tony could barely see them under Cap’s shield, but he felt the sting in his heart. His sunshine was fading away. Oh god.  
“Please, Peter. Open your eyes. Breathe, you need to breathe.”, Steve was barely able to inhale himself, trying to keep it together, but at the same time so close to losing it. Tony felt the same blind panic, nearly letting it get him, but at the same time the mast broke off and he could lift the chains.  
Seconds passed.  
Turned into minutes.  
Minutes full of fear and panic and attempts to get their son back. He was just a child. Just a little boy.  
Their baby…  
  
A small cough.  
His body convulsed with every shaky breath he took, barely able to open his eyes.  
“Bambino.” Tony sobbed and it was the first sound to escape from him since his son had stopped breathing. “Hey…it’s okay. I’ve got you.”  
He cradled Peters's head in his lap and ran his fingers gently through the boy's curls.  
“You’re okay.”  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Peter looked up at the sky, his head still in his Dad’s lap, his Papa’s hand in his hair. He just tried to focus on his breathing, as his Dad told him to. Every breath seemed wrong, reminded him of all the death and sorrow that followed him everywhere, but at the same time, every breath he took brought him closer to his family, instead of ripping him away from them.

**Author's Note:**

> *just pretend this was written in proper English* xD  
> I'm not a native, It's a quarter past midnight and my laptop is about to die soo, have mercy on me haha  
> hope you enjoyed :)


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